Crystal Cohen
Full Name
Crystal Cohen
Portrayed by
First Appearance
Owner of the Sunshine Center
San Diego, CA, USA
  ●   Sig. other: 
Six ex-husbands
  ●   Son(s): 

Crystal Cohen is the racist, pill-addicted owner of the Sunshine Center, and Roman's estranged mother.


Having been previously married six times, Crystal gave birth to Roman. At some point in her life, she became the owner of the Sunshine Center, and became estranged from her son. As part of her business, Crystal invested “rather heavily” in a Malaysian dog track, which allegedly bit a Himalayan. As a result, Crystal decided to donate $50,000 to a local inner-city young group, and planned a press conference at the Sunshine Center. ("Pilot")

On Ben's 40th birthday, the same day as the press conference, the circus arrived to the center, despite Crystal's irrational fear of clowns. After taking a mysterious Spanish pill, Crystal suffers from hallucinations and prepares a song to sing at the conference. When Roman arrived to San Diego to reconnect with his mother, Crystal had Ben tasked with finding him a job. After a short chat with Ben, Crystal (unknowingly) brought upon Ben the realization that despite his career, his life is quite lonely. After an awkward press conference in which Crystal admitted she never had a kid (with Roman in the audience), Crystal prepared to take a picture with the inner-city kids, when a team of clowns, wielding axes (which they used to break the icy arena floor), enter the room. Screaming in panic, Crystal tossed one of the kids at the clowns, while running away. After convincing the photographer to choose one of the less violent picture, Ben organized for Roman and Crystal to spend some time together. ("Pilot")

Crystal, in an attempt to have everyone striving to "woo" her, declared a contest dedicated to the most valuable employee of the Sunshine Center. Secretly, though, she picked her son, whom she wished to get closer with. With the prize being a golf cart, Crystal led Ben to believe that he was the pre-chosen winner, as this was his 10-year anniversary, which she completely forgot. With all of the employees renovating her office and sending her gifts, Ben was attempting to do their jobs, until realizing he was not the winner. Crystal later apologized, explaining that Ben is such a good employee, she sees no need in thanking him - though eventually, she did. ("Employee of the Year")